So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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