I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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