He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Success! We fucked roommates!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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