The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
