I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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