i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Mom said you looked used
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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