i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Rumble strips road head = magical
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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