That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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