He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
