I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
