i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
