Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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