I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
