I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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