Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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