this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
