good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize