before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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