I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize