I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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