some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
