day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
