sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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