I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize