so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
