I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
All the doctor said was why
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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