if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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