the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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