just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
