real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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