Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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