How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize