Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Screwed.edu
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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