yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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