Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
