She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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