I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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