so explain again why im purple
no
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
