Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
