i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
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I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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