HIV tests are more positive than that guy
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
