shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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