So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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