i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
