I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
