He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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