Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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