I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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