how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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