OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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