This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
