i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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