One girl and one boy is just not enough.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
