Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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