She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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