My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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