i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
