ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
