it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
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I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.