I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.