There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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