4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize