I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize